


Meant to Be Yours

by Purplefern



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey, The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (Cartoon)
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Future|Erica, I'm saying it's their ship name, Melvin has trust issues, My First Work in This Fandom, Oh my gosh I don't suck at titles for once, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Swearing, co-written with my sister, generous assumptions based loosely on canon, headcanons galore, is that their ship name?, love and betrayel, musing excessively about Melvinborg whoops, no one writes it, of course I just stole it from Heathers, one sided Merica, technicalities, the Captain Underpants fandom wants this I can tell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 21:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20477615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplefern/pseuds/Purplefern
Summary: She was going to stop Melvin from changing the past. Of course, she was probably going to need his help to do that. It's a lucky thing he's had a crush on her for ages.(Erica got back to the past somehow. And it's doubtful she built her own time machine. And, well, the only two adult versions of characters we see are Melvin and Erica...)





	Meant to Be Yours

**Author's Note:**

> (My sister’s) AN: I was wondering how erica got back in time, and figured it had to be thru Melvin in some way, since he's prob the only guy who'd have a time machine... Any way this is filled with pure Noncannon garbage,headcannons and betrayal galore. 
> 
> A/N for AN: I liked these ideas when my sister shared them with me, so I embellished them and made this into a proper fanfiction. With all the lovely angst that usually comes with my fanfictions. Props again to my sister for her ideas. (Also, before anyone asks, yes the title is inspired from Heathers. JD’s lines in that song are just the perfect mixture of possessive, psycho, yet also earnest and pitiful, and it just works for the way I picture how Melvinborg acts/feels towards future|Erica. I also blame my sister for that, since she introduced me to the Heathers soundtrack.)  
Also my sister had some semi-crack theory about the Time Toad being an object with no origin, or something? Because they just bring up that it exists out of nowhere? I’m not changing it. Just telling you that that’s why the Time Toad is here.

Normally, Erica gets alerted, as president of the world, of any and all potential crises. Which made it somewhat strange that she had found out about  _ this  _ particular case on her own. Instead of being told directly like normal, she found out about this when the other day she caught word from an agent that someone was attempting to rewrite the time stream. 

“Someone is what?” she cornered the blabbermouth agent, pinning him with her best deadpan disappointed glare. 

“Uh, oh! Madame President! I didn’t see you there!” he stammered momentarily, but soon broke under her powerful disappointment cannon, relenting with a sigh, "Due to privacy security, as well as  _ other _ sensitive time-paradox factors, we cannot reveal too much info regarding the time convict. We  _ especially  _ weren’t supposed to involve you, given the nature of the case.”

“And that would be..?” she prodded. 

He sighed again, pinching his nose in distress under the sheer power of persuasion that the President held, “Look, I can at least tell you this much, I suppose. What we know is it's a male in his late 20s who lives near Piqua, Ohio."

She had to think for literally 0 seconds before saying to the agent, "Thanks for the info, that's all I need. I only know one man with the skill and intellect to do something this stupid. I'll take it from here." She could somewhat understand why the time agents hadn’t wanted to tell her. After all, her own past was unfortunately linked with the time convict. That just made it all the more important that she handle the case personally.

And so she went home after interrogating the officer about the time offender and stared deadpan at a wicker basket full of blueberry muffins from Melvin Sneedly (or Melvinborg as he’s been going by for nearly a year now). He’s been sending her stupid pastery gifts like this a lot, even after she had threatened a restraining order. She never eats them since they aren’t gluten free, but since she is a responsible and caring president, she donates the goods to homeless kids rather than letting them go to waste (metaphorically speaking, of course, they had long since eliminated the landfill.The future was a wonderful place.). She dug up one of the empty baskets and grabbed the mailing tag on it. He put his address right on the basket. Fortunately for her, Melvinborg isn't the foresight type.

So today, she reluctantly sets off to Melvinborg's house.

Erica knows she can't really stop his stubborn petty ass from going back in time, so her plan is to build his trust of her (which isn't hard) and get him to build her a time machine. That way, Erica can protect the time stream and follow his every move to prevent him from doing anything even more stupid somehow (she didn't put anything past him).

"Erica! You're here!?" He exclaims when she shows up at his door, before immediately composing himself, and switching to a more familiar sarcastic, "To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from the successful 'president of everything' graduate of Elitanati?"

"Do I need a reason to see an old friend" she replies coyly. The flesh side of his face blushes a hot pink and he gets flustered but then quickly shakes her off. She smirks to herself in satisfaction-- at this rate her plan has already succeeded. She may as well already have the time machine in her hands. As they pass his kitchen counter he nonchalantly grabs a bowl of blueberry muffins from where it sits next to an economy sized jar of peanut butter, and offers one to Erica. She declines, dismissing it as not gluten free.

"You mean I've been wasting delectable muffins on you for months?" He gasps in offended shock.

Ignoring him, she gets right to the point, while Melvinborg sits in an overly plush armchair binging muffins and washing them down with tea.

"I've come to talk to you because I've been interested in something you might know about...time travel".

Melvinborg spit takes with his tea, his organic eye watering from the scalding liquid and quickly sputtering out an excuse.

"*cough* *hack*.err...perhaps. But why would I give you information like that if you don't even accept my gift baskets? Besides, you're _ literally  _ the government".

She just pauses and thinks about her next move. The easiest thing is to flirt for answers, which always works on him (despite being so smart, he’s also so very very dumb) but disgusts her physically. She gags once or twice in silence, but then pyschs herself up to do what she has to do. Fate of the world, and all that.

She quickly gets out, in a monotone tone that she figures will pass for suave with he-who-has-no-experience-with-women, "Your robot half makes yah look good".

He visibly brightens, easily-stroked ego already running out of control, and then goes on and on about the upgrades he's given it and how great he is. Considerably more relaxed from her apparent praise, she suffers through a few minutes of monologue before she finally, mercifully, gets what she came here for.

."...if you're impressed by this simple work of genius, then you'll surely be amazed by my latest works!! Follow me, my sweet". It takes a considerable amount of effort, even for her amazing acting skills, to not throw up at the pet name.

They go to a back room and Melvinborg types a passcode into a panel. The floor brings them down to a lower room. 

"BEHOLD! MY NEWEST AND GREATEST INVENTION. THE TIME TOAD!"

It would be lying to say that no part of her was impressed, and what president of the world, role model to young girls everywhere would be a liar? Of course, it was an incredibly tiny part of her, that was buried under disdain for Melvin's ego, wonder at his sheer ability for incompetent decisions, and disgust at his overall personage. Also hunger. Despite not being gluten free those muffins were looking pretty good. Anyway, a working time machine.  _ Alright, Wang, you've hooked the sucker and now to reel him in. _

"That's amazing!" she faux gushes, "A time machine, in your very own house. And it’s so creatively named, too. Now, if only I could get one" she implies with a flirty wink in his direction.

Regrettably, he barely hesitates under her flirtatious powers, apparently even HE is able to have some sense with time travel. Erica pouts exaggeratedly, hoping it will move him to pity her, but his resolve remains. Instead of melting under the power of her batting eyelashes (and she knows her makeup is impeccable) he immediately dismisses her (though a bit less haughtily than he would normally with other people, she can't help but notice), "Nope, not happening. I couldn't possibly entrust you with something as powerful as a time machine."

She shoots him a death glare, not intimidated in the least by his glowing bionic eye, "What, you think I'm not responsible enough for one?" 

Ah, NOW he's hesitating. Where flirting fails, maybe intimidation can succeed, 

"Wuh...uh, W-eeeell" he stammers for a moment as she intensifies her glare, "There are a lot of complex rules, anomalies you must avoid, plus why would I trust YOU with one, you being the president and all. I mean sure you're nice, and respectful, and beautiful, but..." He continues to ramble on about all the ways this is a bad idea.

Dang, she's losing him. How can she get him to do what she wants? She's appealed to his ego, she's used his cowardice, what other weakness did he have that she could exploit? She stiffens with a just barely suppressed sob as she realizes she's (intentionally?) left out the most obvious. He's a twenty-something man who lives by himself and he's had barely any contact with women. And he's had a crush on her since they were kids. No. No way. There has to be something else she can do, some other option. But regrettably for her, she’s smart enough to know that--urgh-- romantic affection--barf!-- will almost 100% guarantee her a time machine. The things one has to do when one is a heroine. 

So swiftly, before she can talk herself out of it, she leans towards Melvin and just gives him a  _ very short _ smooch on the cheek. But even then she can only bring herself to kiss the robot side so she doesn’t have to actually touch him. 

“Please? For me?” she asks as she pulls her face away, still batting her eyelashes with all of her feminine charmed might. 

For a moment he only stands stock-still, and she vaguely wonders if he could even feel her kiss through his metallic skin, and she worries that she blew her chance with her selfishness. But, of course, this was Melivin Sneedly, who never did anything by halves, so  _ of course  _ his robot-half would be equipped with all the latest (and latest-er) artificial nerve endings. 

Soon enough his brain actually registers that  _ Erica Wang just kissed him _ , and if the look on his face is anything to go by, she just earned herself pretty much any invention she wanted for the rest of her life (or at least the rest of Melvin’s life). 

With a dreamy, half-witted look that she can’t help but think suits him, all he says in reply is "It'll be done by tomorrow". 

Before Erica goes to bed, she pours herself a congratulatory (as well as relaxing) glass of Dom Perignon champagne, and plans her moves for the next day. Melvin will not be convinced to not go through with it, she knows him well enough to know  _ that _ . Stubborn, petty, and hubristic, this is a man who wouldn’t let go of a crush from  _ fourth grade _ and continually sent unwanted muffin baskets. Even under threats of legal action. If Erica were a lesser woman she might have even been intimidated by him. At any rate, whatever self-absorbed petty reasoning had led him to believe that going back in time was the only solution to his problems, even his crush on her wouldn’t be enough to make him stop. It was almost sad, really. So much potential, so many brains, wasted on pathetic feuds and long-past-relevant grudges. Any potential friends pushed to the side as he locked himself alone in his house and worked hour after hour on inventions for getting back at someone-or-other. She felt pity for him for a moment, but then stared accusatorily at her wine glass, and poured the rest of it out with a shake of her head.  _ Stupid wine. Only alcohol would make me feel bad for that psycho.  _

Brushing her teeth even more thoroughly than usual, memory of that kiss strong in her mind, she went to bed, distantly aware that she had no more of a plan for the next day than before. 

The next day, she arrives at his house and almost,  _ almost  _ feels a resurgence of last night’s pity when it’s clear from the look on his face as she stands on the doorstep that he didn’t expect her to actually come back. That feeling is easy enough to kill off as he starts bragging about himself, and stands near her in a way that is far too possessive for her liking. He continues his egotistic monologue all the way down to the secret lab. Today, where previously there had only been one frog-shaped time machine, there was now another machine sitting right next to it. Slapdash, yet somehow still graceful looking in design-- as well as decidedly  _ not  _ toad-shaped-- Erica figures that this could only be the time machine Melvin built for her. Looking closer, she notices that it’s made from what looks like an ancient phone booth. (Was Melvin a Dr Who fan, or was this just a coincidence? Where did he even  _ get  _ a phone booth in the middle of the night?) 

“Not bad for a night’s work, huh? Yeah, I would have added more features, cup holders and the like, but there’s only so much I can do, unfortunately”. 

Something about the statement bugs her, but she waves it off. Instead, she walks around the time machine, running her hand along the outside and looking at all the little gizmos of unknown function that litter the exterior, all the while feeling Melvinborg’s gaze follow her. 

“Yeah”, she says with an air of authority, despite the fact that she doesn’t actually know anything about how the time machine will work (or  _ if _ it will work), “That’ll do it”. 

Turning back towards him, she fully expects him to have his usual cocky smirk at someone having praised on of his inventions, but she’s thrown off when instead he only has a slight -- dare she even use the word  _ modest  _ anywhere near Melvinborg?--smile. 

“Yeah”, he agrees in a far too understated tone, “It should”. 

Well, that does it, something about this whole thing was off. Showing emotions of weakness when she showed up at the door? Admitting that there were things he couldn’t do? Understating the momentousness of one of his inventions? Is he just out of it from sleep deprivation or what?

Before she can muse on his strange behaviour further, he says to her, with his arms akimbo and that irkingly normal looking smile still on his face (robot half nonwithstanding), “Not that I think you would do anything stupid or anything, but I have been curious. What do you want this time machine  _ for _ , my dear?” 

Ugh. Again with the pet names. Never mind. He’s still acting like the same jerk. So, despite her better judgement she retorts back, “I’m going to use it to make sure whatever boneheaded plan you have fails”. 

She’s unprepared for the sheer look of crushed betrayal that he gives her at the remark. Really now, if he’s such a genius, he had to know that she, as an authority figure, couldn’t let him go through with this. 

“But--” he stammers, uncharacteristically at a loss for words, “you--” his flesh hand creeps up to his metallic cheek, and he finally gets his words together, “I thought you were on my side!” he exclaims, angry now. 

“I never said that” she replies calmly, “I never told you why I wanted a time machine, only that I wanted one. I never said I agreed with you, either”. 

“But you kissed me!” he cries, now getting right to the heart of the matter, “All the literature says that that means you trust and like me!” he looks her straight in the eyes, and she squirms uncomfortably at the mixture of betrayal and anger in his eyes (even his inhuman machine eye somehow uncannily conveys the emotions). “Don’t you want me to have a happier life?” 

That brings her a little more clarity, she had come treacherously close to sympathizing with him. But she is reminded that his plan is still stupid, and that he his still petty, self-centered, jerk Melvin Sneedly. All the same, some fool part of herself, the optimist that eliminated the landfill and brought world peace, can’t help but hope that she can still reason with him. Despite her better judgement, for a record third time in a day, she tries to reason with him in a considerably more gentle tone than she usually uses with him, “Melvin, listen, this won’t fix anything about your sad life. Time travel… this just won’t work. Plus, you could cause irreparable damage to the time stream”.

He cuts her off before she can say anything more, made only more angry by her reasoning, “Do you think I’m an idiot?”, he asks, affronted. 

_ Yes _ she thinks, but doesn’t have time to respond before he continues. She regrets having tried to say anything. Now she’s just set herself up for one of his monologues.

“I’m not going to mess things up that much. I’m just going back and making sure that my past self gets into Elitinati Academy. Then my life will be happy, and people will like me, and it’ll all be great. I  _ am  _ a genius, after all”. 

And the familiar haughtiness has returned. He’s swiftly turning back into the Melvin she’s used to dealing with, and she can’t help but be relieved. Hubris and insults, that’s much easier to deal with than the hurt of before. Dealing with his pigheadedness is much more familiar territory, and she responds in kind, the attempted sympathetic rationality of before replaced with her usual criticising tone. 

“Maybe so, but at what cost, Melvin? I swear you’re the dumbest genius on the planet. Going back in time will not magically make your life better. All you really need for a successful life is determination for success and good strong connections. You know, friends? Heard of those?”.

His anger twists quickly into disdain, “Tsk. Spoken like a true figure head politician,” with an aggressively fake-cheerful voice still laced heavily with disdain he adds, “‘The true treaswore in life is fwiendship’”, the cheerfulness is dropped immediately, and his tone sinks lower, to something that Erica could almost uncomfortably call hatred, “Yeah, maybe this is hard for little-miss-loved-by-literally-f*cking- _ everyone _ to understand, but that’s an illogical, sugar-coated lie.  _ My  _ whole life has been betrayal or rejection. Parents, teachers, classmates,  _ you _ . Couldn’t trust any of them. After you left me at Jerome Horwitz, there was literally no one for me to interact with. Who did you want me to be friends with? George Beard? Gooch? Get real!” 

Looking cockily self-satisfied now, truly fully back in Melvinborg style, he tacks on while gesturing at the sparse lab,“If you need to know, you’re just about the only person whose bothered to interact with me in years.  _ Now _ try to tell me that I wouldn’t have been happier if I had gone to Elitinati!” His tirade apparently (hopefully) finished, he leans back with his arms crossed, looking like he was just  _ waiting  _ for her retort. 

She almost doesn’t know where to start. She yells back, saying “Bullsh**, Sneedly! You could have made friends if you weren’t such a little egotistical snot all the time to everyone! It’s your attitude and the way you treated people that made your life so sad and empty! No amount of ‘good education’ can change that-- only you can change your life!”

Instead of the intended result of more angry or pray-to-God  _ thoughtful _ , he just looked pleased at her statement. Seems like once again he’s skipped what’s actually important being said, and just heard what he wanted to hear. 

“Hah! Erica Wang finally beat in a battle of wits!  _ I am  _ going to change  _ my own _ life. Just my life in the past”, he shrugs, “Technicalities.The logic checks out. If I get into Elitinati I get a good education, possibility for acquaintances that aren’t complete drooling morons, notoriety, and, in short, happiness. You’ll see! I’ll even be more loved than  _ you _ little miss perfect president of the world” he spits bitterly. 

He dismisses any of her further attempts to rationalize, criticize, or threaten, and exclaims with an air of finality, “I’m  _ done _ trusting other people! All I ever get in return is this!” he rages with a sweep of his hand at Erica, “It’s clear to me now, that the only person I can trust anymore is  _ myself _ . I’m going, Erica, and you can’t stop me”. 

Leaving in a fit of petty yet real rage, he activates the Time Toad and with a blue flash, escapes to the past. 

As she watches him go, Erica can’t help but sigh. Whether it’s out of frustration, relief, or something else, she doesn’t even know. What she does know is that he’s gurenteed to do something stupid, and she had better go and stop him. She glances over to the other time machine with a wry smile (Melvinborg really was short sighted. Here she straight up told him she was going to stop him, and he  _ still  _ gave her free access to a time machine.) , and clambers inside of the phone booth. 

Setting the surprisingly user friendly time machine for 20 years in the past, she’s soon gone in a green flash, heading back to where her road to success all began. It’s up to her to keep it that way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is a thing that exists now. I spent way too much time on this. Welp. R&R, leave kudos if you want to praise some garbage. Have a good day.  
(Fun fact: the jar of peanut butter is actually a pretty funny headcanon my sister and I came up with one night. I suddenly wondered "what powers the robot half?" and my sister immediately, with no hesitation replied, "peanut butter". Because, she said, the time toad runs on peanut butter, so why not? It was hilarious to us, so now we just both sorta have this headcanon that he has to eat peanut butter every day or he'll just die. Haha.)


End file.
